What. The. FUCK.
Yes. I said it. FUCK. FUCKFUCKFUCK. Such a satisfying word, FUCK, is it not?
Want to know why I said it? I bet you don't. I wouldn't either if I were you. I'm going to say it anyway but you have my COMPLETE permission to FUCK off. ((OMG. I didn't mean that! I promise! I am SO sorry. I am letting my anger get the best of me.))
I bet you are wondering why I am so... FUCKING upset. ((OMG! That is my word of the day!))
I shall tell you. My mother, my sister, and most of the people who are associated with them at the moment. I can do NOTHING right in this house. And, mind you, this is not just a 'aww... pity me' thing. This is honesty.
I can't tell them what is bothering me, what makes me sad, what makes me angry, who or what I don't like, who or what I DO like, what makes me happy, or even just TALKING NORMALLY to them. One of them is being a super-hormonal-super-c*nt and the other... is being her regular old self. ((Yes, I used the word super in the description of my sister twice.))
Seriously. I was talking to my mother yesterday because she had called about getting the number to my brother's recruiter (since he left last week and mom has questions) and before I let her go, I tell her that I won a runner-up prize for Miss. Gail Carriger's photo contest ((OMG! AUTOGRAPHED STICKERS! WHEEE!!)) and what does she say to me?
I quote:
"You know, I really think that there are more productive ways to be spending your time than writing and your artwork."
Fuck her. Seriously? You want to tell me that there are more productive things to do with my DAYS OFF FROM WORK THAT I USE TO LOOK FOR JOBS WHEN I TAKE FUCKING BREAKS FROM MY "LESS PRODUCTIVE" ACTIVITIES?? It's my fucking dream to be an artist or a writer. I don't care which. I will take EITHER. But, NO. I am wasting my time and should be spending it in a more productive manner.
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On to the next example from just this morning.
Recently ((last week)), my brother went away to boot camp. His room is going to turn into mine and the one I am currently in will again become my sisters, and the one SHE is staying in will be for her boyfriend's children on the weekends so that he can move in with my sister in her room. ((And then the other spare bedroom will be madame SUPER-C*nt's babies room.))
Well, last week, I had my room all ready to go since I knew I was working this weekend but, before I moved ANYTHING in my brother's room, I were made aware of the fact that my mother wanted that room to stay as it was for a week so that she can take comfort in it. I understand that. Really, I do. I miss him, too, and he is only my brother. But... I have been living out of a suit case since April 1st, knowing that the room I was staying in is a temporary one since, instead of taking the room with the bed she wants that is now unoccupied, my sister DEMANDS that she gets her old room back and the bed from my brothers room as well. And of course... Whatever Lola wants, Lola gets.
But she decides this morning, after finding out that I work from 11-4:30, that she is going to be swtiching rooms around. Not wanting her little fingers digging through my shit, I asked ((in a very nice voice)) if she could wait until at least I got home since I only work until 4:30 which would put me home by 5. SHE FLIPS.
"Well, I can't make any promises. I just want to get this done. If I have help, you're going to be out of luck."
A thing you should know about my mother... she doesn't speak. She screams and, when she is really pissed, she screeches. This was all screeched at me.
And, of course, since my dumb ass had to ask her to do something for me in a public room, Lola has to put her two-cents in.
"You know, I would like to have my room back at some point."
Okay. She isn't even LIVING HERE! She VISITS on the weekends SOMETIMES.
But, hey. Whatever.
I don't care.
Fuck it all.
Oh, and now my mother is screeching at me again. I guess I am done with this entry now.
Alice.